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Craptastic


What a horrible day today was. Seriously.

I spent most of the morning feeling all moody. No real reason, and not a bad mood. Just moody. To the point of the girls telling me I looked "sour" and "snipey" and the boys basically stayed away from me.

But the way I look at it, is that the four of us girls have worked together long enough now, that there is about a week and a half period (no pun intended) where everyone is irritable.

So yeah, basically work was one long suck fest. And then I get home. Something I have been looking forward to since I left this morning. I walk in the door and start to take off my shoes when it starts.

My father starts yelling down the stairs about how my dog got out of the yard. And I need to fix the fence. And if she gets out again "they" will put her down.

Fuck.

So I sit down at my computer and try to de-compress a little bit.

Until he comes downstairs and starts up his tirade again.

Dad "Don't just sit there. Go fix the fence." RantRantRantBitchBitchBitch Etc Etc Etc

Me "I had a really crappy day, I just need to sit for a minute. I'll go fix the damn fence. I just need some time."

Dad "Well its just always about you isn't it?" *stomps upstairs*

Me *sob*

My dad has never spoken like that to me before. I mean, whenever something "that's all my fault" happens, he ambushes me out of nowhere as soon as I wake up, or walk in the door.

But he has never said something so mean before.

I understand that his work is hard and stressful and that since he works at home I'm an easy target.

And I understand that in his eyes I am one big fuck up. And that I will never be the perfect child that my brother is.

But it would be nice if I would at least be allowed to defend myself. Or at least get my shoes off first.

So I called Nikki, and she spent about 20 minutes telling me how fantastic I am.

She tells me that I inspire her every day. And that she is amazed at how much I've changed just since we've met. And that if my dad can't see how awesome I am that he's missing out.

I've been crying for about 3 hours now. I stop occasionally, but then it just starts up again. Don't you just love hormones?

All I want to do right now is curl up in a dark little room, but there is just too much to do. I think I'll throw a load of laundry in, and ask the Brother to put it in the dryer. At least he's still speaking to me.

I can't even knit right now. I'm too upset.

I can however, show you some pictures:



This is the BSJ I knit out of my handdyed. You'll notice that the button bands don't actually meet. This is a horrible,horrible mistake that happens when you "fix" your stitch count design feature. That will be finished with an I Cord tie at the neck, and decorative buttons covering the holes down both fronts.

The KoolAid socks are progressing. I'm past the gusset decreases on the first one, but don't feel like getting up to take a picture.

The Brother sock is patiently waiting for a mate.

Hailey's Blanket only needs about 16 more rows and the ends sewn in. I really was hoping to have it done by the end of the week. I'm guessing about 5 hours left. Plus the time for sewing in the ends.

I couldn't find my BSJ dvd the other day, that resulted in a slightly manic tearing apart of the knitting room. I did tidy up my stash though:



I still had about a half case of the Crayon yarn left from the blanket, so I had to fit that in to get the box off the floor. My stash is all colour coded and tidy again. It makes me happy to look at it. It also stresses me out a little bit. That's a lot of yarn. Not as much as some people. Some of it has plans, a lot of it doesn't. And you know what? I have about 14 skeins in a travel bag for our road trip! It wouldn't even fit on the shelf now!

Speaking of our road trip, we are so looking forward to getting out of the city. I'm counting down the days, until we leave (there are 8 left). Did I already mention I've booked off the Friday and Monday? I did? Oh, well let me say it again.

I BOOKED OFF THE FRIDAY AND MONDAY

It's almost like having a real vacation. And I haven't had one of those since the trail ride. I totally just clicked an entry at random, I had actually forgotten when we went

Ok, I'm feeling a bit better now. Not all the way, but getting there. I really must remember to post on something resembling a regular basis. Keeps things from getting all jumbled up. I know there was a lot more I wanted to talk about. But I've forgotten.

I leave you with pictures from yesterday. Mom and I are knitting an afghan for our friend Pam (the one with lymphoma) and we're using an amazing book filled with all these differant blocks to choose from. Mom made one for me a few years ago, so we spread it out to look at some squares.

Someone decided to help.







And yes CatKnip/Catty, her feet DO smell like cheezies!

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jun. 12th, 2008 12:20 pm (UTC)
girl-you are so adorable and sweet! I am so sorry you had such a crappy day and that your father made it even worse. Don't let anyone-even your father-bring you down next time, though! You don't deserve that kind of crap. :(
-Hellcat
monkey_butter22
Jun. 12th, 2008 12:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you.


(You made me tear up again. But in a good way this time)
(Anonymous)
Jun. 12th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
Crappy days are bad enough without someone else tearing you apart. And I'm sorry, but is there no way your Dad could help fix a fence? Are you the only person with skills in that house?

Take care of yourself. I hope you have a great trip and I'm looking forward to pictures!

J.

P.S. You coming to SnB on Monday?
monkey_butter22
Jun. 13th, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
Well see, if they had built the fence properly in the first place it wouldn't have been an issue. Seriously! Who thought it would be a good idea to put the flimsy lattice at the bottom instead of the top?

I will absolutely be there on Monday!
(Anonymous)
Jun. 12th, 2008 08:20 pm (UTC)
Yuck yuck yuck. Hope your day today and tomorrow and the next are better.
T.
monkey_butter22
Jun. 13th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
Survived today, tomorrow will be better.

How is your knee? Are you getting to knit lots?
chetaylo
Jun. 12th, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
Hey, that mountain came out of nowhere...
Jill you are a constant source of inspiration for me...case in point, SSKs!! You are amazing, talented, strong, stubborn and kind...the perfect combination of moxie to get through the crappy days, and still enjoy every other type of day. All the while making the most out of things ;o) Seriously, parents don't always know how to relate to their children let alone adult children! Dads can be tough to relate to and men at times aren't the best communicators, but knowing you, you'll make sure your dad knows how he made you feel and then move one...celebrate how lucky you are to be your fabulous self ;o)

Stay golden!

Cheryl
monkey_butter22
Jun. 13th, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
Re: Hey, that mountain came out of nowhere...
You are awesome.

I want to make you a shirt that says SSK REVOLUTION

But I'm kind of quirky that way.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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